My surgery is scheduled for less than 3 weeks away. I’m still waiting to hear that it’s been approved by my insurance, which is nerve-wracking. As my surgery date gets closer, I get more and more excited. I’m not really nervous at this point, but I anticipate that will come the day or two beforehand.
I have so much to do before surgery. I need to pack up my whole house and I’m running out of time. I was camping this last weekend and yesterday I spent the whole day babysitting for my sister who just had surgery for her broken arm. Next week I am busy every day, and will be gone Sunday through Tuesday and next Friday through the following Tuesday. So, I am running out of time to pack everything, which makes me a little anxious.
The anxiety from the not know whether insurance will approve my surgery in time and the excitement about the surgery itself and the worry about whether I can get everything done feels like a tug-of-war inside me. I feel so full of emotion right now.
This morning, I had my appointment to get medical clearance for my surgery. It went well and I am excited to say that I am now cleared, medically, for surgery!! My doctor said the surgeon gave her a tentative surgery date of June 13th. All I have left now is my psych eval next Wednesday and then submit it to insurance! I hope everything comes through in time to keep that June 13th date!
So I have been woefully absent. Why? Well, I fell ill! I spent Super Bowl weekend and the following Monday in the hospital. I presented with severe dizziness and nausea. They thought I might have had a stroke at first, but it was later determined I had a virus of my inner ears. I was sent home with a walker and I used the walker for about 3 weeks and I’ve just recently started to be able to get around on my own and to feel better.
For those who are new to my blog, or who may not remember, my surgeon required me to get below a certain BMI to qualify for the surgery, which meant that I had to lose 77 pounds on my own, which I have been struggling over the last 5 months to do. I’ve made it about 30 pounds, but recent progress has been slow, losing only 2 pounds each of the last 2 months. I had started to feel discouraged and like I would never get to the required BMI to qualify for the surgery. If I continue to lose only 2 pounds a month, then it would take me the next 2 years to lose the next 47 pounds I need to lose, and that just feels so daunting.
A couple people on instagram encouraged me to get the opinion of another surgeon. At first, I couldn’t find another surgeon who accepted my insurance, but finally, I found 2. Today, I called one of them, and he will work with me at my current weight! I qualify for the surgery! And since I’ve already gotten my six months of medically supervised weight loss out of the way, all I need to do to start the process with the new surgeon is to get a referral from my primary care physician. This will be easy because she was the one who suggested weight loss surgery in the first place. I see her next Thursday and will request the referral then. Finally, after a year and a half, things are moving forward!
So the surgeon I had selected won’t do the surgery until my BMI is below 60. I started at a BMI of 72.2. That left me with 77 pounds to lose on my own before the surgery. I have lost about 30 so far, so I still have about 47 to go. That’s almost 50 pounds to lose without the aid of the surgery. Now, if I could consistently and persistently lose the weight on my own, I wouldn’t need the surgery in the first place, so asking me to lose almost 80 pounds before getting the surgery is a little ridiculous to me. It also feels super daunting and discouraging much of the time. Especially this week, when my eating has been horrible and I’ve regained in a week everything I lost this whole month.
So, today, I called another surgeon. I have medicaid, so not many bariatric surgeons take my insurance, therefore I don’t have a lot to work with, but I did manage to find one other surgeon who takes my insurance. I called them today and they won’t even see me for a consultation until I’ve finished my 6 months of medically supervised weight loss. I have just over 2 months left. Then my weight loss doctor has to fax over their notes, and then the surgeon’s office will call me for a consultation. So, as of this moment, I don’t know what the other surgeon’s policy’s are, whether they have a limit for BMI for the surgery, or anything else I would like to ask. However, I’m willing to wait the two months I would have to wait for a surgery no matter where I get it (because my insurance requires that 6 months of supervised weight loss) if that means there is a hope of not having to wait until September or later just to get approved for the next step in the process to get surgery. So, here’s hoping this surgeon will work with me at a higher BMI than the other surgeon. Wish me luck, and renewed focus as I try to lose what weight I can in the next 2 months.
As I read through the blogs of other people who have successfully gone through the weight loss surgery process, I find that some of them warrant their success to the support offered them by close friends and family. I’m afraid to tell anyone. I know people will notice, and I know I’ll have to tell them something. I worry about backlash, especially from my sisters and brother-in-law. I know my sisters and brother-in-law feel that this surgery is the “weak” way out, the “easy” way. I don’t feel like hearing about how they have self-control and I don’t. Again. I’m tired of being judged by them.
I don’t know who I should tell about having the surgery and who I shouldn’t. Or whether to tell anyone at all. I know for certain I won’t tell anyone at least until I hear something definite, since at this point I don’t even know whether I’ll be approved.
Tomorrow is Monday and I am waiting nervously, anxiously. I doubt I’ll receive a call about my referral, it’s too soon. My referral for weight loss surgery has to be approved by my insurance first, and then sent to the weight loss clinic who has to agree to take on my case. And yet, I find myself anxious for that call. I just want news. I don’t do well with waiting. Patience is not a virtue of mine.